Things He Couldn't Say
by Rissatregar
Summary: A series of one shots from different scenes in Season 6 from how I thin Bellamy's POV would be starting with Josephine revealing herself to him.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey all - I got such an amazing response to my last story and in chatting with some of you LOVELY commenters...here are some one shots or scenes from season 6. SPOILER ALERTS! If you haven't finished watching yet! There are some scene play-by-play, but I needed to add that to put my Bellamy thoughts in. ENJOY! And as always...review, review...REVIEW please!**

Oh...and I own nothing...all rights to CW.

**What he couldn't say**

"No….no….NO!" Bellamy tried to scream as her face hovered above him as he lay paralyzed on the floor. His thoughts couldn't seem to comprehend what she had said when it was Clarke's face looking down at him with such a familiar expression. She just stood over him, smiling, and playing with her hair as if she were studying Bellamy in the moment, while it sunk in and slow tears, trickled down his cheeks. It was the only outward sign he could show that his heart was breaking all over again, while he stared up into the blue eyes that seemed to belong to a stranger all of a sudden.

Josephine leaned over him one last time, fingers curled the wavy blonde locks, wrapping them around her pointer finger mindlessly, and winked at him. "Just stay right there." She said, toying with Bellamy as the tears continued to trickle down the side of his face, her voice in a slightly higher register, taking on a girlish quality that didn't quite match the body it came out of. Then she was gone with a giggle and the slamming of the door out of the line of his sight.

_How could I have let this happen? When did I lose her_? His mind spun thinking back to just the evening before as he had leaned on the pillar during the party. She had looked so happy and care free, dancing with Cillian, and it had sparked something inside of his to see her flirt like that with a stranger, when it shouldn't have, but now it was too late.

_I should have stayed with her, or at least kept an eye on her. I knew she was a target after finding the lab. Why didn't I just stay and make sure she would be okay? I put things between Echo and I first. I left to make up to her for getting mad when I wasn't mad at her._

Bellamy felt the emotions bubbling up from inside of him, strangling him, as he lay helpless on the floor. The shock of the initial discovery slowly ebbing away from hurt and despair to over whelming anger. His eyes trying uselessly to move around, while desperately willing his body to respond, to get help, to fight, to get revenge on the body snatched that had stood over him.

The door banged open again and 4 guards entered, smirking down at his stoic form, before grabbing and lifting him, not at all gently, taking him in the direction of the Primes house. Bellamy screamed in his head, eyes searching for any familiar form in the dark corridors before the guards slipped through a side door unseen by anyone.

They dropped him to the floor of a room with a careless thud, causing his head to hit with a sharp pain, fueling the already stoked fire of revenge that was causing his heart to slam against the inside of his chest.

Bellamy clung to the anger, if he didn't, he knew the pain of the truth would crash in on him, so he closed his eyes and focused on it, stoked it with images of how he would get free and find Russell and make him pay for taking Clarke from him. As he pictured this, eventually his body gave into the drug coursing in his system and he drifted off to a fitful sleep on the floor.

The sun was just peeking through the windows when he finally groaned and rolled onto his back, his whole body complaining with the action, sore from a full night of the immobilizing drug not allowing him to shift out of the awkward position he had been dropped in.

He finally shifted enough to suddenly be stopped in his movements by the restraints he seemed to acquire at some point during the night, snapping him awake and to full attention. With some effort, Bellamy managed to maneuver himself back, and on his knees to inspect his shackles as footsteps neared.

The door opened and Clarke walked in. _No, not his Clarke_. His mind painfully reminded him as his heart broke a little further.

"Look who's finally up. Good Morning sleeping beauty." Josephine said with her sweet, taunting smile curving upwards.

Bellamy lunged at her, and was jerked short, throwing himself off balance and down again on his shoulder and knees as his bound hands jerked underneath him.

"Rude much?" Josephine spat with disdain, standing, then added, "More like beast, I should have said." As she leaned back against the door frame, curling her finger in her hair again and examining Bellamy closely.

Anger and hurt shot through Bellamy and he took a moment before slowly moving to get up again to force the tears back. He refused to give Josephine the satisfaction of seeing his pain, and he knew he needed a minute before seeing her face again. _No, not HER face_. His mind cried to him.

"You can't keep me here forever." He ground out between his teeth as he shifted back to sitting, slowly lifting his eye to the stranger.

Josephine's eye narrowed as she seemed to be working on something, the finger in her hair slowing as her mind worked on the problem he seemed to be presenting. "You're right." She said, smile slowly spreading across her face as she seemed to come to some kind of decision, and with a wink she turned and slipped out the door.

Bellamy slumped down again defeated, his mind working on what had transpired in the last few hours. She couldn't keep him locked up or kill him without having to explain his disappearance to everyone, as it was obvious, she was trying to keep it quiet that the Primes had killed Clarke. That meant he had a chance, and as soon as that change presented itself, he was going to make them all pay.

"Let me GO!" Echoed in the hall outside the room where Bellamy was sitting and he watched the shadows move closer, recognizing Murphy's form even before he was tossed through the doors by two guards.

"What the hell are you doing? Let me OUT!?" Murphy bellowed, slamming his shoulder into the door with an angry growl.

"Murphy." Bellamy said softly, and watched Murphy spin around. He could feel the tears still lingering in his eyes as Murphy hesitated for only a second to study his expression before speaking.

"You figured it out too, huh?" He responded watching Bellamy shake his head slightly in defeated acknowledgement before moving forward and adding, "I bet I can make something to cut this strap." And grabbed some metal that was laying on the floor.

Bellamy should have felt hopefully, having Murphy with him, but over the last few hours sitting on the floor his hope and righteous fire had ebbed away to pain and overwhelming grief. "Who else knows?" Bellamy asked, concern flaring inside of him for the others as he watched Murphy start to saw at the binding on the floor.

"Nobody yet. Just us." Murphy stated focusing his gaze on his task. "Tried to offer me a deal." he added as he worked the metal shard.

Bellamy's mind started to work at Murphy's words, "What deal?" he said, suspicion coloring his tone as he thought of Josephine standing by the door working on some kind of problem before she had left.

Murphy looked up finally, meeting Bellamy's gaze, "We agree not to retaliate. They help us build our compound."

There was something in Murphy's eyes as Bellamy watched his speak and his mind started to whisper at him, "And what did you say?" He asked cautiously, as the doubt in his friend creeped in slowly.

Murphy's eyes narrowed, "What do you think I said?" he responded, hurt creeping into his voice that after all their time together Bellamy didn't trust him, and the guilt in the truth seemed to laugh at that thought. "It's Clarke." He said, having to look down as the guilt threatened from deep inside, "She might not have been my favorite of late, she's still one of ours."

Bellamy caught the fact that he didn't refer to her as 'family' as the 6 on the ring had deemed themselves, and he felt the need to say something in Clarke's defense, "She cared about you Murphy." He said, tears welling in his eyes.

Murphy's head popped up, flashing of slight surprise and wetness of some tears at the words, and Bellamy added, "I know that it may not have always seemed like it, but she did."

The tears seemed to never ebb away as he spoke, the grief pulling at him, "She cared about all of us," his voice faltered on the words momentarily as he remembered her words and apology less than a day before.

"She would never let us die here." He finished, as Murphy's movements had stopped.

"You saying we should take the deal?" He asked Bellamy with a marked surprise in his tone.

Bellamy frowned and grabbed on to the wave of anger that swept forward over his grief, "No. No. You were right. We don't need them to help us build our own compound." He said as resolve and angry built in his voice giving his words a hard edge that had Murphy frowning.

"We kill them all, and we take theirs." He finished, letting all the certainty of his words reflect on his face.

Murphy froze for a moment, the air shifting between them as he refused to look Bellamy in the eyes, "Where's Blodreina when you need her?" he asked quietly before getting up to pace, keeping his back to Bellamy in the process.

He knew the outcome that he wanted, but until he had help from the others, or could get out of the room, it was pointless to try to figure out anything further, and Murphy was driving him nuts pacing like a caged animal, and he raked his hands through his hair.

"Hey, save your energy. You're going to need it." Bellamy said, mild frustration bleeding through in his voice.

Murphy turned, his regular defiant attitude showing through, "Yeah? For what. Another war?" Murphy asked, something edging his voice that Bellamy couldn't quite place. "Is that what Clarke would want?" he tossed out to Bellamy.

Bellamy looked up at Murphy, his anger rearing up at the words, "I don't know what Clarke would want." he replied, hands in his lap and he took a few breaths to study Murphy. "It's too bad we can't ask her."

Murphy cut him off right away, "We know she wanted to do better. Somehow, I don't think risking all of our lives for revenge is a step in the right direction."

Bellamy took a breath, as his stomach dropped at Murphy's words and stance. He knew the truth but needed Murphy to admit it, "Why aren't you restrained like me?" he asked calmly, hiding the hurt and anger inside.

"I don't know. Maybe I seem less likely to rip their heads off." Murphy replied dismissing the implication in Bellamy's question.

Bellamy got up. Six years on the ring with Murphy had given him a much better insight into the inner workings of Murphy, and he knew, that the "old" Murphy had resurfaced. "Why are you really here Murphy?" he asked forcing him to look at him in the eye as they stood off, air charged between them.

Murphy paused for a moment, and in that second Bellamy's heart stopped, hoping he was wrong, but then Murphy's gaze faltered and he looked down before replying, "You really want to know?"

"Yeah." Bellamy said quietly, watching Murphy's façade drop away.

"Fine." Murphy started, tears in his eye that surprised Bellamy, "I'm here to convince you to take the deal." He walked toward Bellamy swallowing the small ball of shame in his actions, "There, I said it." he added by way of non-apology.

Bellamy laughed and shook his head. After all this time it shouldn't have surprised him that Murphy was choosing this, "Why am I not surprised?" he said to cover up his thoughts and then a thought struck him, "What did you see when you died, Murphy?"

Bellamy saw his question rattled him, "Am I trying to save my own ass?" Murphy spat back on the defensive, making Bellamy frown, "Yeah, I am, but I'm also saving yours, just like I did during the red sun!"

They were toe to toe now, Murphy challenging Bellamy to respond further to his words, but he just took a step back, some of it sinking in a little. "Bellamy, if we take this deal, we get everything we want. We get to live." Murphy pressed forward, but his final words hit home.

"Not Clarke." Bellamy said softly.

"We can't bring her back." Murphy said, "We can make sure the rest of us survive, starting with you." Murphy finally letting some of the emotion color his words with the thought of losing someone else he now considered a friend.

"If you don't take this deal, Josephine will kill you." Murphy finished, trying to reason with Bellamy.

Bellamy's anger drowned out any reason that may have started to creep in, "Then let her try." he responded, straightening up to his full height over Murphy.

"Oh, so that's it, then?" Murphy ground out, his anger rising, "We start another war? We destroy another planet? Is that what you want? Is that what _MONTY_ would have wanted?!"

Bellamy's anger broke finally at the words and he shoved Murphy away, straining at the end of his restraints, and got in Murphy's face, "Hey, Monty..." he started as Murphy tried to avoid his gaze so that he had to grab his jacket, "Listen to me. Monty would be ashamed of you." He said not, caring how the words would cut him like a knife, and shoved him away, watching the pain flash across his face.

"Maybe he would be, or maybe he'd see that this _IS_ how we do better!" Murphy fired back.

Bellamy slammed against the chains as a gnawing voice inside poked at him with Murphy's words, and all he could do was turn his back, breathing through the fury that was threatening to take over. "Get out." Was all he could manage as he struggled to deal with his hurt, grief, and now the feeling of betrayal.

Bellamy heard Murphy tap on the door, and it open, "Don't worry." He said, voice level and calm again, "I'll do my best to make sure they only kill you." He added before the doors closed and Bellamy let out a breath, the weight of the world crashing back down on him in a moment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello readers! Thanks so much for the reviews of my first chapter! Sorry it has taken so long to get the second one out but as school is starting for both my little ones, it's been a busy last couple of weeks. I hope you ar flicking the mix of direct show vs my own additions. Please...review, review, review! It is such a help when I hear others thought on my work! I will start jumping a little more with the future chapters so I hope it all makes sense!**

**Disclaimer: as usual...I own nothing (cause if I did...I wouldn't have to work so hard)**

**Chapter 2**

Bellamy sat down on the floor again a while after Murphy left, his emotion churning, making him feel completely drain as his mind drifted back to the moment he thought he lost Clarke when the rocket took off. Things had felt different that time as the watched the world burn away beneath the ring, till only a small sliver of green remained.

They had to focus on just surviving at first, so it took almost 2 months for him to actually have grief hit him full force. But, he had a purpose because of her sacrifice, and that eased some of the pain most of the time. Only Raven knew he spent most of the following 6 months pacing the halls of the ring late at night, overcome with grief and guilt at the loss of Clarke.

Then they made it back to Earth, thinking a bunch of criminals were chasing his sister, just to have a young girl drop the biggest bomb on him he thought _possible…Oh,_ _God_! It hit him like a tonne of bricks. _Modi_! _His_ mind painfully reminded him. _How the hell am I going to tell her Clarke is dead_?

His head dropped into his hands and the tears came fresh to his eyes again at the thought that this girl was going to lose the only family she had known for 6 years. He had felt the loss of his mother to his core, but to have lost that twice he wasn't sure he could have handled it, and even with the flame, how was she going to make it through?

_My responsibility now_. His brain fired back in response, effectively keeping the tears at bay. _Clarke would have wanted that, I think_. He would be the one to tell Madi and Abby. And together, with Wonkru, they would figure out how to take Sanctum for their own.

His emotions were ruling his thoughts as he ran through plan after plan for getting out of that room alive and take over sanctum. It was the only way he was managing to keep the grief from crashing in on him like a tonne of bricks and at some point he slowly nodded off, leaning against the back wall.

_Bellamy heard a noise outside the door that sounded like arguing, the shadows moving with increasing animation until it broke out into a fight that ended with two bodies hitting the door and slumping to the floor within seconds of themselves and then silence._

_He got up, hopeful that Echo had finally figured things out and made her way to where they were keeping him, but when the doors opened, he saw the last person he thought would be there._

_"Bellamy? I'm so sorry I had to lie to you. It's really me…it's Clarke!" She said, blue eyes shining and clear._

_Bellamy shook his head in disbelief at her as she stepped towards him, hands out in a defensive gesture, while her eyes pleaded at him to believe her words._

_His heart hammered in his chest as she stepped slowly towards him, "How….no….it can't be." He stuttered, blinking at this person before him, a part of him desperate to believe what she had said._

_"The procedure didn't work on me," she said taking another step towards him. "I don't know why, but when I woke up I knew I needed to pretend it did or they would try again." She was within arms reach now, her hands slowly lifting to reach up as he flinched back._

_"No. No, this can't be. You are lying to me." Bellamy said shaking his head and stepping back ever so slightly. He squeezed his eye shut tight against the hope that was building inside when he felt it._

_Her hand gently touching his cheek, with a single finger, tapping his temple. "You need to use this." She said quietly and his eyes flew open._

_"Clarke?!" he said, barely above a reverent whisper and tears started to fall on their own at the joy building in his heart. "Is this….are you really…you?!" He breathed, reaching up to grasp the wrist of the hand touching his face to feel her pulse pounding._

_Clarke nodded, smiling up at him, "Heart and the head." She said and he pulled her into a crushing hug, his tears flowing steadily now with pure elation._

Bellamy jerked awake, eyes searching the room frantically before reality set back in like a heavy weight, smothering him in loss. It was just a dream. She was really gone, and he was left to mourn her all over again.

As he wiped the dampness off his face, and stood, he heard the tell tale rumble of the drop ships engines start up and turned just in time to see it lift into the sky, yellow flickering against the darkness. He frowned and the door to his room opened.

Josephine walked in, her steps hesitant as she entered, eyes shrewdly assessing him as she moved forward. "I don't want to fight, okay?" She said calmly as if it were an offering of peace.

"Why are you here?" Bellamy responded flatly, exhaustion seaping into is tone.

"Because we are both struggling to live with this, and I was hoping maybe we could help each other through it." She said, walking forward slowly, almost cautiously.

Bellamy turned away, scoffing. He couldn't look at her face anymore, blue eyes now cold and distant from the warm sparkle that used to be as she would catch his eye, trying to reign in his emotions again. As he tried to come up with a reply, footsteps approached and he turned, briefly taking note at how Josephine seemed to be much closer to him than she had been before turning his back to her.

Murphy and Russell walked in and Bellamy shot Murphy a dark look as Josephine piped up incredulously, "You went to my father?"

Murphy tilted his head at her with his cocky grin and responded, "I take big swings." Eluding to what must have been a previous conversation as Josephine hummed her approval to his sneaky tact.

A random moment of fleeting pride ghosted it's way through Bellamy as he thought that Josephine may have met her match in Murphy for schemes before his attention shifted to Russell.

"What are you doing?" He asked Josephine, with almost a hint of desperation and pleading in his voice as his eyes shifted, momentarily to Bellamy and his cuffs.

"Saving us." Josephine stated matter-of-factly, as Russell's brow furrowed in worry, looking back at Bellamy again, "He knows you killed Clarke, and, unlike the snake behind you, he will cry over spilled milk."

Bellamy's heart dropped at Josephine's words and his eyes moved to Murphy's again and watched his grin get bigger at her attempt at insults.

"Enough." Russell cut in to her commentary, "What the hell's the matter with you?" He asked in horrified shock at his own child, stepping towards her, eyes moving back to Bellamy for a brief moment again.

"Have you become so callous to the feelings of others that you don't remember what it's like to lose someone you love?" Russell asked, hidden pain cracking his voice as he spoke.

Bellamy watched Josephine, shift, almost uncomfortable under her father's scornful gaze before Russell addressed him directly, "I know you're in pain. I know you want revenge." He said to Bellamy as Josephine moved back towards the door. "I know I would too. We had a chance to bring back our daughter, and we took it. We didn't consider the consequences."

"For God's sake-" Josephine started before Russell continued with, "Be quiet." Firmly over his shoulder as her smile slid off her face.

"Maybe you should let the man speak." Murphy stated condescendingly.

"Shut up, Murphy." Bellamy and Josephine stated at the same time and Murphy shot Bellamy a dark look. His eyes sliding briefly to Josephine, a question poking for only a second at the back of his mind.

Murphy's look softened slightly and he walked over to Bellamy and Russel. "I think you should hear him out." He said softly to Bellamy, trying to get through to him.

Bellamy clenched his jaw, pain and anger flashing across his face at Murphy's words as he watched him walk closer, "I think we can trust him." he added calmly.

"Do you now." Bellamy bit back as Russel cut in, "You can. Look, I can't bring your friend back, but I can guarantee safety for the rest of your people. We will share everything we have learned about surviving on this moon."

Bellamy scoffed and took a step towards Russell, he was trying to keep calm, but the storm was building inside as his mind worked on the side on how to get his hands on Clarke's murderer, "Why did our ship just take off?" He said briskly, then turn to Murphy.

"Abby's showing them how to make night blood." Murphy responded bluntly.

Bellamy's emotions surged again looking at Murphy, his anger barely being contained, "I take it she doesn't know that her daughter is dead?" _Yeah right, I can trust them_. His eyes said to Murphy.

Russell obviously didn't know what he had done. I will tell him what's coming. He thought as he turned on the older man, "You are going to have to kill her too." He said bluntly, "You think my need for revenge is strong? There's only one way this ends." He stated, eyes flicking to the analyzing blue ones of Josephine for only a moment.

"Bellamy stop! Alright?" Murphy piped up forcefully, as he sensed the tension rising. "You don't want them to kill all of us. Just think!"

Bellamy was so focused on Murphy that it happened so fast. One minute he heard Russell yell, "Josephine!" And the next she was flying forward, knife in hand, slicing the cord that bound him to the floor.

There was a split second where no one moved Bellamy processed his options, but as usual, his heart won out and he lunged at Russell, cold clocking him. Murphy's voice barely registered saying, "Bellamy, come on. Don't do this!" as he wrapped the cord around Russell's throat and tightened it, the man struggling in his arms as he was so very close to revenge.

He heard Josephine's lighter tone, almost mocking, "I'm sorry, Daddy. Violence is all they know." Russell was slowly failing in his hands, as Bellamy tried to focus on his revenge.

"If killing him is what you need, then do it, but let the violence end here." Josephine said, Bellamy finally turning his head to look her in the cold blue of her eyes as Russell grasped ineffectually with his hands. "An eye for an eye." She finished cocking her head at him.

His head screamed at him as he looked into Josephine's eyes. Those eyes that used to look at him with such warmth and caring and pain over the kind of act he was doing now and he faulted. It was just long enough for his head to regain control of his sense. Killing Russell in the moment would get him nowhere if Abby was going to show them how to make night blood. They would just bring him back, and his people would suffer, Madi would suffer if he wasn't there to protect her.

Bellamy roared one last time before he threw Russell down and his feet, "Ahhhrg!" Was all he could get out at the disappointment of a revenge so close to being realized. As he panted, Russell coughed and gasped for air at his feet, and while he staggered away, Bellamy heard Josephine say something about, "Big swings," to Murphy.

Russell stood up straight, eyeing Bellamy with a cautious stance as he rubbed his neck and gulped down as much air as he could and Bellamy sunk down on a chair, raking his hands through his hair as the tears welled up again.

"What now." He managed to growl out before lifting a defeated gaze to Russell's less sympathetic one, and Josephine piped up.

"Now you keep your people in line." She said strutting out of the room with hardly a glance at her father, and a smug grin on her lips. "And I, finally get to be myself." She added over her shoulder and turned down the hall.

Russell groaned and tried to clear his throat as guards rushed in behind Josephine's retreating form seeing their Prime in distress and the prisoner no longer bound to the floor, and went after Bellamy as Murphy argued, "Wait! No, whoa!"

"Stop!" Russell croaked out, "Leave them be. He is free to go to his people." He stated, halting the guards in their tracks to blink, and look at the two.

"That's it then?" Bellamy said, finally finding his calm enough to look at the older man as the guards turned and slowly made their way back to the door, while keeping a watchful eye on him.

"For tonight, you go back and tell your people that Clarke is dead. Grieve. We will meet and talk tomorrow." Russell said, his voice still cracking from the pressure the cord put on it.

Bellamy looked up at him and they nodded to each other in silent agreement. What was done, was done, and now they were moving on, which meant Bellamy needed to face his people. "Come on Murphy." He barked gruffly and he rose and followed Russell out of the room and back to the bar.

Gaia and Emori were sitting at the bar and turned as Bellamy approached them, "Where have you been?" Emori questioned and then caught Murphy's eye and stilled. "Jon?" She asked hesitantly, eyes flicking back between the two men.

"Where's Echo?" Bellamy asked, not offering any explanation.

"Out looking for you." Gaia stated simply, confusion flitting across her face at the tension in the air all of a sudden.

"And Madi?" He questioned softly, turning towards Gaia.

"Upstairs," she started, her words increasingly more cautious as she saw the intense emotion behind Bellamy's eyes, "Bellamy, what is going on?" She added quietly, reaching out to place her hand on his arm in support.

Bellamy swallowed. He didn't want to wait till Echo got back, as he wanted to speak to Gaia first before breaking the news to Madi. The girl would need more than just his support and Gaia was her mentor. Taking a breath he just said the words softly and firmly, "Clarke is dead."

Emori gasped, hand flying to her mouth in shock as her eyes moved to Murphy's gaze as she saw his hardened look, "What the hell happened, Jon?!" She said looking up at him as he reached out his hand to her.

Gaia's face remained hard, her eyes wide and she moved passed Bellamy to sit on a stool at a small table, Murphy sliding into her spot so he could put an arm around Emori. "They did it. Didn't they?" She finally said softly as she raised her eyes to Bellamy's as she willed him to understand he meaning towards the Primes.

He couldn't form the words, so he just nodded and looked away, shame building for letting Russell go when he had him in his hands, seeing he was the one that murdered Clarke.

Murphy spoke up, "We made a deal to keep us safe. To keep us alive." He emphasized his last words and Bellamy shot him a dagger filled look before he turned and sat at a small table.

Moments later, Echo came through the doors, "Bellamy," She said breathless with relief, then caught the mood of the group. "What's going on?"

Bellamy breathed in, his grief finally showing through fully on his face as she studied him, "Clarke's dead." He said, and watched the shock register on her face just before he pulled her in his arms, clinging to her as the pain of it washed over him.

She moved back quickly, her keen eyes studying his for a moment, reading him and the depth of his heart break. Her features hardened and she seemed to resolve to a path, "When do we attack?" She stated as if it was the only possible outcome for what Bellamy was feeling.

Bellamy's breath faltered for a moment at her willingness to rally to his cause, despite her and Clarke's past, "We don't." He said turning to the others and offered a better explanation to Murphy's earlier words, "We do what Clarke would have done. We survive." He stuttered out, emotion getting the best of his words.

Footsteps on the stairs drew everyone's attention as Madi descended, her steps slowing as if she sensed something ominous was about to happen, "Madi, hey," Bellamy started and approached the young girl. My responsibility. His head whispered as her eyes met his.

He crouched down, taking Madi's forearms in his, steeling himself for what was to come, "I have something to tell you." He said softly, carefully, putting his grief aside for the moment to be there for her.

"I am so very sorry." He started, "Clarke is dead." He finished, his words firm and final. She blinked a couple times in disbelief at him, and his gaze flicked up to Echo's for a split second before he saw her realize the truth in the grief on his face.

"No…" She whispered and collapsed in his arms, loss enveloping her, tears flowing in giant hiccuping sobs.

Bellamy clung to the girl's small, shuddering frame, finding unity in their grief, and let his own pain seep out quietly as he supported Madi. He let her cry it all out on his shoulder for as long as she needed him, Murphy and Emori slipped out after a few moments, and Echo finally drifted away to give them space. Only Gaia remained vigilant over the pair.

Once she was cried out, her hitched breathing slower, and less shallow, Bellamy moved away, smoothing strands off her cheeks that had been stuck by her tears. "Clarke told me that we were family." He said softly, not sure of how to convey his self appointed responsibility for her.

Madi nodded and slowly the stoic mask of the commander slid into place and her eyes grew cold and distant. "You said you wouldn't let anything happen to her." She said simply before turning on her heal and racing up the stairs.

"Madi!" Gaia called after her, horrified, following a few steps before looking at Bellamy, still crouched on the floor.

Bellamy just looked at the floor, knowing Madi was right. He was supposed to keep her safe. Keeping her alive was his job, and he failed. "Go, Gaia. Be there for her." He said softly and got up, striding out of the bar before he let his anguish out.

He walked through the silent night, no plan of a destination until he couldn't go any further, and slumped on a bench in front of the water, his tears finally flowing unchecked. This was so much more than when he thought she has died on Earth. She had made the choice and the sacrifice to stay and save them. It almost made it easier to bare, even though it took him 3 years to even think about opening up to Echo. But now, she had been taken from him. Snatched away when they were so close. So close to getting back what they once had after 6 years apart, and so close to possibly finding some kind of peace.

Now she was gone, and he didn't know how he would be able to get over it again.


End file.
